Saturday, November 24, 2018

Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person - A Short Speech By Alain de Botton

After a long break, I am compelled to share a video clip here, because I think, Alain de Botton, in this passionate and fun speech, talks about a ubiquitous  issue, namely reasons of marrying the wrong person. In doing this, he argues convincingly that the root of the problem lies in early childhood and gives psychoanalytic explanation for it without using any psychoanalytic jargon.

I truly enjoyed watching it. But, more importantly,  it made me think about the nature of "hope". To me, hope is an essential state of mind, a basic feeling of trust that would make life more purpose-driven. Alain de Button, however, suggests that hope leads to  rage because if you are hopeful, you do have expectations that certain things will occur in a certain way and if not, then your whole world is shattered, in small or big ways. It is hard not to see the argument. This is just a tangential part of the whole speech, but it struck me. I hope you will find valuable understanding about the issue by watching this brief video. Enjoy!

"“Marry, and you will regret it; don’t marry, you will also regret it; marry or don’t marry, you will regret it either way. Laugh at the world’s foolishness, you will regret it; weep over it, you will regret that too; laugh at the world’s foolishness or weep over it, you will regret both. Believe a woman, you will regret it; believe her not, you will also regret it… Hang yourself, you will regret it; do not hang yourself, and you will regret that too; hang yourself or don’t hang yourself, you’ll regret it either way; whether you hang yourself or do not hang yourself, you will regret both. This, gentlemen, is the essence of all philosophy.” ~Soren Kierkegaard